Becoming a Full-Time Storyteller Ruined My Life
✏️ Here's why and how you can avoid my fate ✏️
When I became a full-time storyteller… my life fell apart.
Let me back up.
As a kid, I was obsessed with video games. Like a lot of us, I used them as an escape. Eventually, the addiction got so intense that I made a decision: I quit cold turkey. At 14, I set my sights on a new dream: becoming an author.
What followed were years of writing, struggling, investing every dollar I had (and didn’t have), publishing 12 books, and logging thousands of hours trying to build something real.
And eventually, it happened. I “made it.”
Not through books or YouTube like I imagined, but through a live-streaming app called Airtime. I hosted scavenger hunts and manhunts, and for the first time, I was making $4,000 a month.
That covered all my living expenses. I felt rich. I felt free.
And then the depression hit.
The very month I started making enough to live off my creativity… I entered the darkest period of my life.
I didn’t know what was next. I had spent so long chasing the dream, and when I caught it, I realized something terrifying: I still didn’t feel good enough.
That feeling had been with me all along, and no external win could erase it.
What’s wild is that I just had dinner with a new author friend I met at LitRPG Con. He shared the same story.
The moment he went full-time, the fear kicked in.
The doubt.
The sense that it could all disappear at any moment.
And here’s what I’ve come to understand:
If you don’t believe you’re enough before you hit your goals, hitting them won’t change a thing.
In fact, it might make the void louder.
I kept thinking:
“This isn’t going to last.”
“I’m not good enough to sustain this.”
“I was never good enough to begin with.”
And the truth is, that exact belief—that I wasn’t enough—is what pushed me to chase full-time creativity in the first place. I needed to prove to myself that I *could be* enough.
Eventually, I walked away. I quit YouTube. I stopped streaming. I went to therapy. I got real with myself.
And here’s what I found.
First: I needed a deeper purpose. I needed more than just “making a living.” I needed a mission. A reason my stories mattered in the world. Something that would still drive me after I reached the milestone.
Second: I had to stop tying my self-worth to outcomes.
I had to believe I was enough, even when I wasn’t earning, publishing, or producing.
I won’t pretend this journey is simple. I wish I had a 5-step guide on how to feel worthy.
But what helped me was reflecting on the old narrative I was telling myself and starting to write a new one.
One where I didn’t have to prove anything.
One where I could trust myself.
One where joy didn’t depend on performance.
And since then?
I’ve taken bigger risks. I’ve been more open. I’ve made more friends. I’ve built a life that feels like mine.
So let me ask you:
What story are you telling yourself right now?
Is it pushing you forward or holding you back?
Is it based on fear or on possibility?
For a long time, my inner story was:
“You’re not good enough. Something’s bound to go wrong. Keep working so you don’t lose it all.”
That story was painful, but it was familiar. And sometimes, we stay stuck in old stories simply because they’re the ones we know.
If that sounds familiar, I want to help you write a new one.
Not just about your books or your brand, but about you.
What will that new story be?
You don’t have to share it with the world, but if you feel like sharing with me, I’d love to hear it. Just reply to this email or drop it in the comments.
Until next time,
Together we are boundless,
Michael Evans
P.S. The story of who you are as a storyteller… is being reimagined for many of you in real-time. With Creatorwood going into beta for it’s first storytellers, the age of turning your books into movies/shows is finally here. Anyone with a story can build a film business. And if you want the ultimate crash course on how to do it, the Six-Figure Film Accelerator has group coaching, full ads and social media marketing strategy, and more to help you go from story idea to six-figure film business in weeks. You can join here.
I think I have a fear of something, thinking fear of failure because I've had a lot of that in my life. Then I have someone close saying I can't make it as a writer. She's never been very supportive, but to hear her say that not too long ago hurt.
I'm currently prioritizing my health. I delayed for years because of Tech Guy's medical debt. I could wait. I kept putting things off in 2025 because I'd "do it after this book is done." Then a new project surprised me, so I went "I'll get this done fast and then get to it."
Well, July 24th, my body said No. Not waiting anymore. I've started the whole doctor merry-go-round. The WIP I thought I was finishing in July is close, but not quite done, in August.
Hoping the doctor has the test results when I go back tomorrow morning. The not knowing has been driving me nuts.